I have gotten so busy with life that I just haven't found a moment to sit down and write a blog in way too long! It makes me sad! I have written a couple of times in a journal, so at least I did that I guess.
I have been reflecting over the past couple of days. I feel so amazingly blessed. Even though our finances are very difficult right now, and we haven't had work in almost a month, I am realizing that is not what matters. Sure, it feels so much better when we aren't depleting savings just to pay bills, and not clipping every coupon and hitting ever major deal grocery stores offer just so we can afford to eat well (actually, I do this whether or not we are working, but it's more the fact that we HAVE to do this), but money is not what matters, nor is any material thing. It's my kids (including my dog), and my husband, and God (not necessarily in that order), that matter.
Last night I was holding Sonja in front of the mirror, as she enjoys looking at herself. I got a good view of her as well (sometimes you are holding them so close you don't "really" get to look at them), and I was just awed by how beautiful she is. Such a perfect round head, with big blue eyes and the widest grin I've ever seen. It brought tears to my eyes as I revelled in how carefully she was knit together by God, and entrusted my my care. I felt like just squeezing her as hard as I could. I kissed those chunky cheeks over and over as I just fell even more in love with my 5 month old. This "surprise" from God that at one time I was overwhelmed with the idea of even having! And now she is the center of my world, just like the other 2...3....well, 4!
I have experienced the same what you might call "revelations" with my other family members. Jayna and her amazing wit, humor, and artistic abilities. I may have helped nurture this, but she is so naturally and incredibly gifted. As we do our schoolwork, and she beautifully writes her "A's" (better handwriting than me, I might add..although that's not saying much), I just am blown away. And Xander, with his natural athleticism and just a zest for life. He has the type of personality that draws people to him. He could be being the biggest brat in the world, and strangers at the store still giggle at him and play with him. I don't know what it is, but he's going to have the world at his fingertips.
And, of course lets not forget Jason. My strong partner who would do anything for me and our family. We are building a life together, and I just couldn't live without him. I know that is kind of short and sweet, but I really think that sums it up! I love him to death.
Sascha is a different story...(kidding, of course). Sascha is the best dog I personally have ever had. She lays right next to my side of the bed at night (I put a blanket down for her, she really likes it), she hangs out with me and the kids all day long in the house, and is learning tricks! She just has such a personality, as huskies tend to have. She is stubborn, independent, yes...but also loving, sympathetic, and a dear friend of mine.
With all of these blessings that are in my life every minute of every day, who am I to worry and fret or feel depressed about my circumstances!?? Many people would kill to be me. I think I can finally say I have given up my problems to God, and also put trust into Jason. Let's face it, I don't have the ability to fix our situation. All I can do is trust in my God and help out Jason in any way I can.
That is all for today. I do need to post updates on our kids soon...they have gotten so big!!